Surf's Up For Family Fun

First, let me make it perfectly clear that I did NOT want to see this movie. My reaction when the trailer came on before other movies was “not another penguin movie!” Now that my children are 11 and 13 I’m looking forward to fewer animated children’s movies and more PG and even PG-13 fare. In fact, I had planned to take my son (the older child) to Live Free or Die Harder, but he invited along a friend who wanted to see Surf’s Up a second time rather than Die Harder. So I very reluctantly went to “another penguin movie!”

The three of us were the only people in the theatre for a 5:50 p.m. Wednesday evening showing. The kids got a real kick out of that. It was like a private showing. I was pleasantly surprised by the movie. The only apparent reason for most of the characters to be penguins is a blatant appeal for the “cute factor.” Oddly there are Antarctic penguins, Australian penguins, and tropical island jungle penguins --- odd but entertaining. One major character is a chicken from Wisconsin. How a chicken from Wisconsin ends up on the back of a whale in the Southern Ocean is never explained. But then who cares? Another non-penguin is a badger (I think) surf promoter with a Don King hairdo. The chicken is daffy and way cool.

The movie is laugh out loud funny even in an empty theatre or maybe that’s especially in an empty theatre. The movie ultimately works because it is really a tale about following your dreams against all odds, friendship, loyalty and loving what you do. In this movie, winning isn’t everything. Everything is staying loose and having fun while doing your best. Winning is the byproduct of loving what you do and doing what you love. The win at all costs penguin surf champ who worships his trophies is a jerk. For the real winners, friends come first. In addition to being funny, the movie has a good moral for kids too. I recommend it. It has earned good reviews and they're well deserved.

Live Free or Die Hard: The Implausibilities

Warning! Spoilers Follow! I don't want to ruin anybody's fun, but I just can't let some of the implausibilities of Live Free or Die Hard go without comment. Here's a list of just some of the implausibilities in the movie.

• A raging gun battle goes on in a city for 15 minutes and not even one police car is seen or heard.
• McClane seeks cover behind plaster and lathe walls that are shot to pieces but he's not even nicked.
• Farrell's computer blows apart while McClane and he are in an adjoining room. We see similar explosions level homes earlier, but Farrell and McClane aren't scratched or even bleeding from their ears.
• The bad guys crash the entire country from a moving truck, but never grab for a handhold or sway.
• McClane brings down a helicopter with a police car. (Hint: If you're being shot at from a helicopter at very close range, shoot back at the rotors or motor.)
  
• Standard cell phones are used to hack computer systems and tap into satellite communications.
• An F35 Lightning hovers under an overpass. (Yes, an F35 can hover, but under a highway?)
• McClane survives having missiles and cannons from the F35 shot at him.
• Enough bullets are shot at McClane to keep the U.S. Armed Forces in Iraq supplied for an entire month, but he is never hit. He, of course, dispatches the bad guys with a pistol.
• The hackers tap away on keyboards at hyperspeed and the computers react instantly.
• The bad guys fly over D.C. in an unmarked helicopter while brandishing assault rifles.
• McClane flies a helicopter and finds the Warlocks house miles away without any trouble even though all utilities are out so he's flying through total darkness.
  

Now for the glaring errors --- McClane walks past an overturned Crown Victoria cab and you can clearly see there's no exhaust, transmission, drive shaft, or rear axle. Next to it is another car completely stripped of its interior.C'mon folks! You're making a mega budget Hollywood blockbuster! Is it too much to ask that you not completely strip the cars before burning them?

Still the pace, special effects, and fun of the action carries the movie through all the eye rolling implausibilities. In the end, isn't it all about the spectacle?

Live Free or Die Hard: Implausibly Entertaining

If I judged movies based on plausibility, then Live Free or Die Hard would be one of the worst movies I've ever seen, but that's not how I judge movies. I judge movies based on whether I'm entertained and don't check my watch to see how much longer it is. You won't be checking your watch during this entertaining, fast paced, action flick. Even the critics give it a 78% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes . For once, they seem to recognize a movie for what it is --- mindlessly fun entertainment.

Bruce Willis still has what it takes to play the wisecracking, courageous, super tough cop John McClane. All of the elements of the Die Hard formula are there. Justin Long ,who plays "the Mac" in the Mac vs. PC commercials, is his reluctant good hacker sidekick. The plot involves a high tech scheme to "crash" the U.S. for nefarious purposes. Long's character, Matthew Farrell, is using an Apple computer for his hacking when we first meet him. I wonder if that was a requirement of his contract? For the rest of the movie, he does most of his hacking, including tapping into satellite communications, on a Nokia 9300 PDA phone. Just as implausibly the bad guys use Nokia N95s or similar phones for much of their hacking. Ironically the uberhacker known as "The Warlock" (super-geek director Kevin Smith) exclaims with amazement that the head evil hacker crashed NORAD with "just a laptop." He'll be really amazed to discover the same guy crashes the whole country with a few desktops and cell phones.

This plot wouldn't even have been possible when the first Die Hard was released in 1988. Every day technology has advanced that much. In this movie, computers, cell phones, and the latest STOVL jets are as essential to the plot as the curmudgeonly John McClane.

Timothy Olyphant portrays the chief evil hacker as the kind of villain you just love to hate. Maggie Q plays his girlfriend/accomplice, Mai. McClane describes her as "smokin' hot", as do many Internet commentators, and she is "smokin' hot", but you're not sorry to see her go.

A lot of the implausibilities are good for a chuckle or provide the thrills. There's a lot of bits that make you think "that would never work, but it sure is cool to watch!" After all, cartoonish escapes and the ability to keep going after being run over, shot, beaten, and falling 50 feet are all part of the Die Hard formula.

In the end, good triumphs over evil. McClane is implausibly still standing despite an army of bad guys focused on killing him. He takes a lickin' and keeps tickin', as one character says he's "a Timex watch in a digital world."

A good time was had by all. Even the implausible bits are good for a chuckle so put your brain in park and have a good time.

Old Timey Florida Vacations

Florida's beaches used to be lined with one story "mom and pop" type motels. Most of them have been replaced with impersonal, characterless multistory condominiums and resort hotels. The Sea-Aire is one "mom and pop" motel that survives in Cocoa Beach a mile or two south of Ron Jon's Surf Shop. It was built in 1950 and is still family owned. My family likes to go there for the occasional beach weekend. It sits directly on the Atlantic Ocean. You can see the rocket gantries at the Kennedy Space Center in the distance to the north. It would be the perfect spot to watch a shuttle launch. Every one of the 16 rooms is an efficiency with a kitchenette and the room rates average between $80.00 and $100.00 per night (as of July 2007 but rates may vary seasonally and change). All the rooms have tile floors, two twin beds, a window unit air conditioner, and ceiling fan.

As for those window units, window a/c's supplied the sound track to my youth. I dont' notice them and neither does my New England born and raised wife. We consider the sound "white noise." They're a non-issue. Some of the rooms have the air conditioners somewhat removed in an entrance alcove. Our room had it right in the room. When our friend, who was in one of the rooms where the a/c is slightly removed, asked us if the noise bothered us we said, "What noise?" However, after she brought it up, I realized what she meant. So if window unit a/c's keep you up, you might want to make sure you get one of the rooms facing the ocean where they're in an alcove.

Who would like the Sea-Aire? Anyone who ---

• wants to stay directly on the ocean with direct access to the beach (no walking down the hall to the elevator, through the lobby, across the parking lot, around the pool...).


• appreciates a bargain.
  


• doesn't mind not having room service.

• likes to sip a beer while grilling outdoors and enjoying a million dollar view.

• doesn't want to worry about the furniture and the carpet when coming back from the beach.

• likes to sit and listen to the waves come in.

• won't miss a swimming pool when you're ocean front.

• likes friendly service.

• likes to cook their own meals in their room or an outdoor pavilion.
  

Who won't like the Sea Aire? Anyone who ---

• insists on room service.

• thinks waiting five minutes for a fresh mai tai is a hardship.

• who goes to the beach to sit by a swimming pool.

• enjoys schlepping their beach equipment 200 yards to the beach.

• who expects the Ritz Carlton.

The Sea Aire doesn't advertise free wifi as far as I know, but there is a weak but usable wifi connection. It does advertise "flower gardens" and there are a few beds of flowers, but if you're expecting extensive lush gardens you'll be disappointed. The office keeps a supply of boogie boards and sand toys on hand for the kids to use. Because the floors are tiled and you'll be trekking in sand, dirt, and bits of grass, you may want to bring a Swiffer or a damp mop to keep the floors clean.

The Merritt Square Mall and a Cobb Theatre multiplex are just over the causeway about 10 minutes away. A number of restaurants are nearby, including Grills at Port Canaveral. Funntasia Fantasy Golf is straight up A1A. We had a great time there one evening thanks to the friendly staff. A little farther north is Traxx at Jungle Village, which features go cart tracks, batting cages, bumper cars, a climbing wall, and an arcade. The Kennedy Space Center, Police Hall of Fame, and Valiant Air Command Warbird Museum are also nearby. For adults only, there are a number of bars nearby, including some offering entertainment of an "exotic" nature, and a Fairvilla megastore [NSFW].

If you're looking for a beachfront spot and you're primary focus is family fun and hanging out at the beach, then the Sea Aire is for you.

Aarrrggghhhh! It be Pirates III

The family went to see Pirates of the Caribbean III recently. I was the only family member who loved Pirates II. I pronounced it the best pirate movie that I'd ever seen. The other three family members yawned in reply. As we were leaving Pirates III, I announced that it suffered from the same disease as Spiderman III; i.e., an excess of length. The family agreed weakly, but pronounced it nonetheless the best Pirates of the Caribbean yet and "much better" than Pirates II. I enjoyed it but I still think II was better. It is nearly impossible to keep track of the crosses, double crosses, and fake crosses, and three hours is just too long for a movie these days. Look closely at the pirate who is the "Keeper of the Code." There's a good reason he looks like Captain Jack Sparrow's older brother. You could say that he had a great influence on Jack. Bottom line --- It is worth seeing and a good time was had by all.

Now for an entirely different take on it I found this review http://rickstimeonearth.blogspot.com/ Rick apparently didn't enjoy it all.

A Brief Review of Spider Man 3

The family went to see Spider Man 3 last Friday. I can sum up everything that is wrong with it in four simple words --- It is too long! The darn thing is two and a half hours. Sam Raimi needs to become familiar with a process called editing. He easily could have cut thirty minutes to an hour from the movie and nobody would have missed it. The end result would have been a compact, fast paced action film instead of a slow paced, muddled action-romance. Still it is entertaining and could have been worse.